It is not he easiest subject to talk about, but in this culture, in our society, where death is swept under a rug, I fell that it is important that we stop for a moment and look back on the many years living and not the days, weeks and sometimes months spent dying. Dying is a natural end to a process that every living thing goes through. We are born, gain all the knowledge and wisdom that we were destine to learn, apply said knowledge, and start the rapid decline towards the end of life. There is just one small hitch in this very grand and simple plan. LOVE. Along the way, humans have banded together out of necessity at first, then out of the shear joy of just being with that other person that makes life just that much better. We gain families, our love grows and expands to include others in that group, and as the march of time trudges past, we take for granted that the ones we love will always be there. "It can't happen to me", you might think, "our family is strong, we are gonna be together forever!" Death takes his time and waits for our allotted time to expire, then comes to collect us. It happens to us all. I am coping with the lose of a person that has stood at my side through the whole of my life. She is not passed yet, but he final days are fast approaching. I know that when that time comes, all the words that I an writing now will be pointless. I will have lost a treasured loved one, and will not see her again till me meet in whatever dimension intersects this one after my biological time has reached it's end. I will mourn and miss you, I will celebrate your life, and the time we shared while together, but the one thing I WILL NOT DO is wish for your return. As you got older, the healthy, active, and vital woman that I had grown up with and loved with no conditions, had started to fade into the frail sick woman that I saw 2 days ago clinging to life, waiting to be discharged from the hospital, so she can return home and die in her own bed. The tears I shed the following days where not for the fact that I am losing you, the tears I shed came from knowing that we will never get to sit and talk about your early life that I missed out on, or spending Thanksgiving in your old townhouse, the tears I shed where tears of joy, for having gotten a chance to love you, and have you share that love in return. in closing I would like to share...." You are my sunshine, My only sunshine, You make me happy When the skies are grey, You'll never know dear How much I love you, please don't take My sunshine Away.
I love you Gram, I will miss you for the rest of my time on this Earth, but I know that you and I share a love that shatters the bonds of life and death, and I know that someday we will see each other again, and I will once again look at the face that I have burned into my memory and we will be united once more!
-S
