Just in case…
By: Stephen Motroni
Tim was a shy and awkward man. There was nothing about him that was unique. He had a typical job and a typical home, in a typical neighborhood, but Tim had a very intriguing secret. This was the kind of secret that you did not let slip. If this got out, then it would be lights out for our friend Tim.
It was the first week in October, and there was a very distinct chill in the air, on account of the arctic front making its way down from Canada. The first rays of the morning sunlight started to peek thru Tim’s wooden louver blinds, and Tim tossed from side to side in his sleigh bed to escape from the obnoxious intruder. It was all very normal for Tim to start off his morning like this. However this morning was to be anything but typical.
For some time now there had been a blue windowless van that had been parked 3 houses down from Tim’s. It had gone unnoticed by Tim, as he rarely paid close attention to anything but the shiny new iPhone that almost never left his hands.
With a blinding ray of sunlight and the sharp sting of a morning piss, Tim reluctantly got out of bed, and made his way to the toilet to let nature take her course. With Tim’s immediate needs out of the way, he would have just enough time to get his stuff together, and get out of the house before he was late for work again!
Socks and shirts, underwear and shoes, all flying thru the air like some kind of mental juggling act; Tim dressed at top speed and ran out the door. Tim was one of those hippy tree huggers that did not believe in cars, as they often caused pollution, and Tim wanted to be part of the solution not part of the problem. It was the line he used all the time, I think he heard it on PBS, and just started repeating it. Minutes later he was dressed and out the door.
The metal handrail that floated above the shallow steps on the front of his building was cold to the touch. He grabbed his cashmere lined gloves, and he was on his way to work. Now little did Tim know that a mere moment after he left, the side door to the blue van slid open, and a tall masked figure emerged from the dark shadows of the van.
The figure moved silently across the expanse of street, until he was right in front of the house that Tim just departed from. He reached into his pocket, and removed a long, thin wire like device and slipped it into the keyhole of the front door. A shack and a jiggle was all it took to get the door to swing wide open to reveal the large sun fill sitting room of the recently emptied house. The man slipped inside and went to work.
Tim had started walking the usual beat he made every morning to get to work. It was a 5 minute walk that usually took him 15 because he never walked more than a few steps before he stopped to read another funny post on Fail blog. As Tim was rounding the corner however, he remembered that he had neglected to lock the back door, and it would be unwise to leave it unlocked all day long. He made and about face and doubled timed it home.
The work was going slow because this guy was a complete mess. He had nothing organized. His whole house was in complete disarray. He knew what he was looking for but trying to find it in this jungle of shit was not going well at all! The search must go on, and on he continued. He knew that Tim worked till 3:30 because of all the surveillance that he had been doing for the last few days, so there was plenty of time. Only when the man heard the scrape of a metal key in the door did his blood start rushing, and little beads of sweat started to form on his now uncovered forehead.
Tim could not believe that he was so careless to leave the door unlocked. He had a ritual of closing the house up before he left for work, but since his morning had been so hectic, Tim was not too hard on himself. He was in the front door and across the living room in about 10 steps, and off thru the kitchen to lock up nice and tight. It was only after Tim had locked the door and turned around that he noticed that he was not alone in his living room any longer.
The masked man had recovered his face and was standing roughly a foot from where Tim stood. Tim was startled, but knew that this was no accident. He was expecting it. He had been for some time now. The masked stranger extended his hand, not for a handshake, but rather in a give me the item sorta way. Tim was not about to part with it. He had it hidden since it was given to him; with the express direction never let it get out of the house.
Tim picked the spot some time ago, and it has not seen the light of day since. It was tucked away in an old copy of “Just in case: How to be self sufficient when the unexpected happens” by Kathy Harrison. Tim had prepared for the day when someone would get this far, and make it into his house. Others had attempted it, but none have been around long enough to tell the tale. Tim was calm and did what he did best, played dumb.
“Give it to me.” Was all the man would say. Tim said that he was wrong, that he had nothing of value, and to rob him would be silly. The masked man just stood there and repeated his phrase. “Give it to me” the man said again, this time quite a bit louder. Tim had to decide what move to play next. He started to open his mouth to speak, but before he could answer, the masked man’s face contorted under the mask, and his body fell limp onto the scratched faux wooden floor.
Looking over to the open front door was another man dressed all in black standing in the doorway with a smoking gun pointed into the living room where Tim was now standing alone. The man lowered the weapon, and looked at Tim for a minute, as if he was sizing him up. The silence was held for an eternity, but in reality, it was more like 30 seconds. 5 words were spoken to Tim before the man ran down the steps again and into a waiting car. They were “Be more careful next time”
